gentle heart of a freak

by flöat

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written/performed/produced by Heather Blore

copyright Heather Blore


released April 27, 2017



all rights reserved


flöat Nottingham, UK

"double Olympian heather blore takes journey into homemade indie pop"

- Clare Balding 2018

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Track Name: vapidity
vapidity is me
what you need: release
the gentle heart of a freak
silent words inside your cheeks

please just go
degrade me,
rearrange me
tell me no
and hate me
cos you made me

clarity is free
if you share what you feel
mystery brings grief
misery is cheap

please just go
and leave me
on the ceiling
tell me no
i'll be feeling
what i'm feeling
for years to come
Track Name: still trying
i left the city in a day
life inside the endless vein
another lonely face
whose dreams became casualties of reality

i guess there's nothing more to say
rolling backwards on the train
the night eating the day
shrinking skyline just a stain on my mind

i'm still trying
i'm just lying
maybe today
something might change

you never told me how you feel
so how am i supposed to heal?
some cracks can never seal when I'm still
questioning everything
Track Name: brisbane loners
i'm a tourist
another tourist
same old story
i ran away
ive been changing
and ive been faking
show me something
to be amazed

i wanna go where the sun already shines

did you know me?
im so lonely
but i feel pretty good tonight
can't remember
who my friends are
or where my heart lies
set it alight

but im already where the sun always shines

did you notice
that i meant it
what i said was no drunken lie
but i'll keep walking
aint it boring
how everything just gets compromised

i wanna know what you hold inside

i wanna be so far away
from me
Track Name: post-denial
do you know that I'm a joke?
I buried all I ever broke
dig it up when I'm alone
it's spring, I should've been
but instead I'll never win
setting fire to every bridge

stay away for your own sake

I know I'm a stubborn child,
live my life in post denial
don't know what I do it for
i'd give it all to be adored

I might have grown
but I've not changed
I'm still as flawed
and still as strange
but I'm sorry all the same
my foolish words and foolish dreams
you never saw what I could see
the two of us complete

all I feel:
just make believe
Track Name: white knuckle
the feeling comes along
and I can taste it on my tongue
hanging heavy in the air
fleeting and strong
and I hold it in my hands:
the smoke of drunken plans
and I'm looking up to ask
does nothing last?

So give it all to me
and watch me tear apart my dreams
And take it all from me
I only want
What I can't keep, what I can't keep

Now I've fucked it up again
But I don't feel any shame
When I live each day
To drink myself awake
And I can't have any fun
Til I've made my thoughts so numb
But it's so much worse
Each time the morning comes
Track Name: fear worn friend
i'm just the fool who tried to change your mind
but you know it's all the same, i'll change mine anyway
roaming in circles, no escape from symmetry:
another paperthin excuse for why I won't
set myself free

i'm just the one who runs into the arms of the past
who simply laughs, welcomes me back:
the fear worn friend who always cracks
i'm sorry i still end up hurting you, i think that you should know
i only mean to hurt myself
and no-one else

when i run oh so far
to silence what's in my heart
and you'll always stay away
cos it's clear that i've not changed
i've not changed
Track Name: as fast as i can
i'm sorry
i don't know what i said
i don't know why i'm sad
no nothing like that

i'm sorry
i messed it all up
i messed it up good
like i knew that i would

but now, taking a bow
and sitting back down
i'd rather drown
and never be found

cover me in lighter fuel
set me alight, i want to burn
as fast as i can